Light's Unwielding Adventure
by fauxPOP
Summary: Light kills his enemy/friend, breaks up with Misa, and is portaled to New Orleans, Louisiana through an anime addicted teen's TV! All of a suddenly everything just goes terribly wrong...


**A/N: Ok, so yes, this story is very random. Me and my cousin came up with it on a boring day, he is a character in the story also (Thaddeus Budakaii 3!!! aka N.O.O.B. aka noob)**

**Appearances: Owen (Total Drama Island), Abel Nightrode (Trinity Blood), Ikki (Air Gear) Various Naruto characters, Twin sisters Markera and Markyra**

**So yeah, this is really random, but the story ends up actually having a plot and stuff...**

**Disclaimer: Authoress: You know i don't own any of the characters right? -blinks twice-**

**You: Sure...**

**Authoress: Except for my cousin and the twins. ;)**

* * *

Light's Un-wielding Adventure

Owen from Total Drama Island appeared on the screen eating lays chips. Light Yagami wondered why while he grabbed his death note while putting a half bitten apple in his mouth. He furiously wrote the name "Owen" in the note book.

"That fat bastard." He said while writing and picturing Owen's fat face.

But mistakenly Ryuzaki died instead.

THE END!!

But it was not the end, Light glared at Thaddeus fearfully.

Thaddeus replied " I am your master! BWAHAHAHA!"

Father Nightrode sauntered from the back in 40% Krusnik.

"You are nobody's master." He said as his white ponytail floated in the crisp air. His grey eyes turned white and he unleashed the powers of a vampire eating predator that is indeed a vamp itself. Thaddeus yelped in fear and got the hell out of there.

But Thaddeus Said "" I FEAR MY PILLOW ONLY!" Then He noobishly killed Everyone in the story and revived everyone EXCEPT NightRode.

Misa came into the room with red and pink cupcakes. _Oh_, Light thought, _I forgot it was stupid valentines day. _

" Light sweetie, I made you and your friends some v-day treats!! Now where's _my_ gift?" Misa yelled in her sharp voice.

"I.. have to go pick it up." _From Walgreens_, he wanted to add. But before he could forget, Misa flopped at Nightrode's dead body laying across a chair.

"Aww, he was so cute." She said and turned to Light with the cupcake tray. " Want one?"

" No thanks Misa."

"Ok sweetie."

" I'll take one!" Owen yelled from his spot seated on top the lays potato chips. He ran over to Misa amused at her beauty but mostly the cupcakes. _Delicious_, he thought. _Fat bastard_, Light thought .

" Oh joy!" Misa handed Owen a red cuocake before noticing something terrifying. " Oh god!" She shrieked, dropping the tray into Owen's sweaty, fat hands. She rushed over to Ryuzaki's side,

" What happened?"

"I didn't mean to kill him, I tried to take out _that_ one." Light pointed the pen clutched finger at Owen. " And it killed him instead, as for Nightrode, _He_ did it." He pointed again, this time at Thaddeus Budakai 3!!

"Oh god!" Misa hugged Ryuzaki's dead body to her chest and cried. " Light this is horrible,"

"Yeah." Light responded.

" But I have to tell you this. I was seeing Ryuzaki the whole time we were together. I'm sorry, I just loved him better because he paid more attention to me. You just care about yourself Light Yagami. And I don't want to be Misa Yagami because I am not a gay." Misa exploded at Light as Thaddeus and Owen watched the show.

" Misa…"

"Oh, please don't be mad."

" I don't care Misa you can have him but, I just realized something." Light looked away from Misa's teary face. " I'm also in love with someone else."

Everyone in the room gasped.

" Now this is better then a movie." Owen sat back and ate some popcorn that magically appeared in his hands.

" Who?" Misa asked suspiciously with the tears still flowing.

Light hesitated before answering. " Near."

More gasps filled the air. Light thought of Near's white hair and shirt, crisp and clean as he sat childishly in a sofa playing dominos. Since first seeing him Light couldn't imagine life without him and when he first met with him at the "N" headquarters, They instantly fell for each other. He was deep in thought and only came out of it when Misa slapped him super hard. All of a suddenly, Nightrode came back to life.

" You know it's not all that easy to kill me in 40% Krusnik mode." Nightrode spoke. He destroyed Thaddeus for once and for all sending him back to his computer chair located in New Orleans, LA. " You're not an anime and you don't belong here."

* * *

About three days later Ryuzaki was buried and Light took his place on the podium as "L." It was cloudy out and Light sat at the computer looking for criminal's names he could write next.

"Hmm." He thought looking at the name Sasuke Korichica. He'd killed his wife and brother then tried to kill himself but there were no more bullets left. Near looked up at Light from his teddy bear.

" You're going to kill him?" Near asked. He seemed as if he didn't care, but Light knew he did. One of their first conversations was about Light being Kira, Near had said he didn't like the fact of Light killing people by writing their names in a notebook and enjoying every minute of it. Since they had gotten together, Light had written over 20 names in the Death Note. He seemed to be addicted to it now. " Do you ever feel sorry for your victims?"

" Why should I? They never feel sorry for their victims." He continued scanning the list of criminals. Sasuka Korichica's name was now written in a regular notebook so that he could take it home to his privacy and write the name in the Death Note.

" I guess." Near threw down the teddy bear and left the office room. He ran into Ikki on the way out. " What are you here for?"

" Well I got some killer Kira evidence." He laughed obnoxiously. "Get it? Killer, Kira." Near looked at Ikki as if he were a walking donut. He continued laughing.

" Leave." Near said seriously.

" No, I'm here for something important."

" Leave, _now_."

" If you let me talk to 'L,' I will let you meet the beautiful ladies of Sleeping Forest. You can take whichever you want."

" 'L' is _mine_. You just leave."

" Fine, sheesh. But one thing."

Before Near could get out another "Leave," Ikki had taken out a Death Note and was pressing pen to paper. Near karate chopped the pen and note book out of his hand before he could write the "r" in "Near."

" You're one of them you no good idiot."

" Ok ok!! Stop it was just a joke… see?" Ikki handed over the black notebook, "Death Note" was simply pasted to the front of the book. There were no rules in the book and the first few pages contained math problems.

"LEAVEE!!!" That did it, Ikki ran out of the building while shouting some profanity at Near.

The rest of the day got worst, Near sat in a coffee shop playing with a rubix cube when they walked in. Naruto and Hinata. They waved at him and took a seat across from him.

" How are you Near buddy?" Naruto said, that stupid yellow hair gelled down like glue, Near was definitely not in the mood to deal with ninjas. Especially super happy ones with wacky tattoos.

" Are you okay Near?" Hinata asked while waving a waiter over.

" Yes, I'm fine." He turned and turned the rubix cube and it went into place, all colors matching. He messed it up and started again.

" You seem twitchy." Naruto laughed. " And moody." He laughed again.

" And nervous." She laughed too.

" SHUT UP!" Everyone in the restaurant turned to face him. He stood to leave, and threw the rubix cube down on the table. " I'm not feeling well. I'm going to go home, sorry."

Nightrode ran in the restaurant at 40% Krusnik And Thaddeus came back in behind him on level 99.1. Thaddeus destroyed him into pieces of cow manure. Nightrode was now manure. But, Nightrode came back to life because a stupid Homo Saipan can't do anything to him of course. So, he DESTROYED Thaddeus for once and for all because that noob is _not_ an anime character and does _not_ belong in this fan fiction. Thaddeus flew and crashed into his computer where a chat room was open. The mannequin one. But somehow he re-appeared in behind Nightrode, And Nightrode couldn't hit him because Nightrode was _Virtualized _and Thaddeus was real. Thaddeus grabbed his anime remote and deleted Nightrode FOREVER. Nightrode no longer existed thus to never come back. Thaddeus Hopped back to his computer and chatted on /Nymphetamine_of_the_Mannequins. BUT, this was a freaking anime in the first place for Nightrode was real and Thaddeus was just living. But not in the anime world thus he doesn't freaking exist darn it.

Anyways, _Thaddeus_ pressed play on the DVD remote and the anime continued.

But then Nightrode crawled out of a well towards Thaddeus inside of the TV. Nightrode then climbed out of thy TV and chased Thaddeus out of thou's house. Nightrode was now of Life-Death-Humanity-Anime…

" Activate 40% Krusnik." He changed but in the real world it was much scarier. The white hair floating at about 1 ft. tall and the eyes all white. SCARY! " You cannot hide little boy for I am your worst nightmare unleashed."

Thaddeus replied " There is only one way to stop this! ;D". So Thaddeus ran into his house and grabbed the remote. He rewinded it. Nightrode went back into the TV at his regular version. Light came out of the TV this time, and he wondered where was he, while he looked at the computer and burgundy painted walls he wondered " _I can kill here! _"

Getting past Thaddeus with no trouble, he slipped into the hallway glancing into each room and settling on the purple one. _Cute_, he thought. _Too cute, for innocence can be overwhelmingly troublesome._ Light entered the room and took in it's appearance. Toys everywhere and two little girls playing. One walking around like a little Happy Feet. And the other walked up to him bravely.

" You look stupid, what's you name?" She stood there, barely one feet and placed her tiny hands to her tiny hip.

" I am Light Yagami, Leader of the Kira Task Force. Who are you?" He looked at her sideways.

" I'm Ma-Kera. That's," She pointed at the penguin one. " Ma-Kyra, that's my sista."

Light stood there, grinning and picked up the penguin, Markyra.

" A baby." He muttered to himself before being interrupted by Thaddeus and a Japanese one.

" Oh look Master Bodakaii 3!! , that's Light from Death Note!" The Japanese boy squealed, or was he an alien? And then Father Nightrode was there.

" I don't have a death note, how are you assuming that I'm Kira? For all I know, _you're"_

"Save it." It was the noob who spoke. He was now in a Naruto cloak with the red clouds. " I know you're Kira, I made it to episode 37 about two or more months ago. And Near is seeing Mello right now!"

" No…"

" Oh yes Light Yagami."

The Japanese one laughed, the little girl whose name is Markera laughed, Markyra grabbed at Light's hair and the N.O.O.B. ( Noticeably Out Of Bounds) laughed.

"_You all!_" Light began yelling. " Will enter my Death Note."

" I thought you said you weren't Kira?" It was Father Nightride who spoke.

" Was this?" Markera had the Death Note in her little hands and she was flipping through it roughly, tearing some of the pages.

" NO!" Light yelled at her taking away the note book and tossing Markyra to the Japanese One. _How'd she get that out of my pocket without me noticing? _He thought. Light shoved everyone out of the way and exited the room at full speed. He took the stairs down and flew out the front door not bothering to shut it. He kept running until he stopped outside of a church. He took out his cellular phone and speed dialed Near.

" Light!" Near sounded shocked and excited. " Where are you?"

" I have no idea, please send someone from the headquarters to get me."

" Ok what street are you on?"

Light looked around, he walked to the corner and spotted the street sign.

" Crowder?" He looked again to make sure it was indeed what he'd saw. " And Morrison?"

" I've never heard of that."

" But you're from America."

" No I am from England, hold on Light." There was someone in the background talking. A guy's voice. Light listened in to see what he was saying but he only caught some words and sentences. " You", " Your place." and " Tomorrow." Okay?

" Light?" Near was back on the phone.

" Where are you?"

" I'm uhh, at the headquarters."

" This is my first time ever hearing you hesitate, you're always sure of what you say."

" Yeah…"

A bus with the words RTA written all over it stopped in the street next to Light. He stared at it and the man behind the wheel as the door opened.

" Can you take me to the Kira Task Headquarters?" He asked, ignoring Near.

" I have no idea what that is or where it is even."

" It's in the center of Los Angeles, right by the…"

" Are you out of yo' rabid mind? This is New Orleans, Louis-ana. I'm not about to drive a bus from here to Los Ang-les."

" Fine." Light walked off from the bus, running dead into none other than N.O.O.B ( Thaddeus) ., Nightrode and Japanese one.

" Light!" It was Near on the phone yelling at him. " Are you still their, tell me where you are. I'll come myself to get you. Light!"

" I'm fine… I have to go." Light didn't bother hanging up the phone just as The Japanese One spit some smoke sausage grease at him. Almost ruining his expensive button down shirt like all the others he owns. He turned and took off for whatever was next in this odd town. Cars passed him as he ran through the streets and almost got slammed by a blue Charger sitting on 22'.

" Get yo' yellow ass out the middle of the street nigga!" The guy in the car yelled. _Oh god_, Light thought rushing to the sidewalk. But it wasn't a sidewalk, it was a tiny strip of sidewalk in which a car could easily slam into you. _I've got to get out of here!_

* * *

**Ok, that was scary, I hope you enjoyed it. If not, oh well.**

**Reveiws Please!!!**


End file.
